Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
You brought string cheese to the strip club
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
