i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
