dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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