Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize