I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
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