You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's not a foreskin expert like you
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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