how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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