I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
