So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
