i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
The adults are the big ones right?
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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