she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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