when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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