I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
