Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
operation have a gay friend backfired
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Randomize