Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
