I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
