i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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