You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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