Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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