I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Randomize
