I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
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