I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
