i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
