What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I am spending my child support on dildos
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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