last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
