Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
