remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Someone shit on the floor
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
