Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
