I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
