I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
