when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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