he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
