just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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