Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
