I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize