You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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