$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
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its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
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I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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