Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize