The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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