No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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