just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
