It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I just found puke in my bra..
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
