The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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