seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
