That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
