I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
