she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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