420 ftw
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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