I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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