you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
