you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Randomize
