you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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