I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
