is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
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