Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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