There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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