it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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