Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
