guys are only as good as the porn they watch
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Is it penis luge time yet?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize