I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize
