Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
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