He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
