Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
