no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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