what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Your cock deserves a montage
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
