i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
These 17 People Made Horrible Decisions That Ruined Their Lives
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it