Texts From Last Night

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  (212): View more from New York

  Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK

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  (212): Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK http://tfl.nu/7q0x
  Replies (3) Good night (1231) Bad night (468) Order T-Shirt
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.

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  (202): He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex. http://tfl.nu/r46t
  Replies (1) Good night (458) Bad night (2473) Order T-Shirt
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  (951): View more from California

  Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.

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  (951): Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already. http://tfl.nu/bhvw
  Replies (64) Good night (4832) Bad night (797)
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  (714): View more from California

  He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.

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  (714): He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth. http://tfl.nu/egoc
  Replies (28) Good night (3956) Bad night (1622) Order T-Shirt
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.

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  (604): What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners. http://tfl.nu/ayy8
  Replies (58) Good night (639) Bad night (3689) Order T-Shirt
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.

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  (405): It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you. http://tfl.nu/abkv
  Replies (15) Good night (833) Bad night (3337) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.

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  (203): Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one. http://tfl.nu/lrd9
  Replies (6) Good night (3725) Bad night (630) Order T-Shirt
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  and she just brought her bike into the shower with her

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  (434): and she just brought her bike into the shower with her http://tfl.nu/c8oh
  Replies (8) Good night (2511) Bad night (967) Order T-Shirt
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  The key to alley sex is drunkeness.

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  (780): The key to alley sex is drunkeness. http://tfl.nu/zhh3
  Replies (7) Good night (2112) Bad night (684) Order T-Shirt
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.

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  (703): I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform. http://tfl.nu/4ptq
  Replies (8) Good night (3355) Bad night (593) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.

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  (512): I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25. http://tfl.nu/95s1
  Replies (7) Good night (771) Bad night (1444)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.

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  (202): Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table. http://tfl.nu/pg5d
  Replies (2) Good night (1336) Bad night (297) Order T-Shirt
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  (972): View more from Texas

  I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.

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  (972): I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors. http://tfl.nu/zrt1
  Replies (5) Good night (532) Bad night (588) Order T-Shirt
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.

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  (423): What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face. http://tfl.nu/y7fo
  Replies (5) Good night (442) Bad night (276) Order T-Shirt
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult

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  (504): lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult http://tfl.nu/w1mp
  Replies (8) Good night (761) Bad night (272) Order T-Shirt

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